11 May Pocket Steps To Be Patient With Yourself As You Grow

Beginning the path to healing often seems like a daunting task. What do you do first? How do you change your ways of thinking so that you can grow as an individual? 

First, you need to have someone to walk the path with you and remind you of the context of your journey. This is why we have created these pocket steps for patience; so that you’ll have something to refer to when a supportive person isn’t readily available. We often need to be our own supportive person, but we were not taught how to be. You’ve taken the first step and that calls for acknowledgement! We’re proud of you and we hope you’re proud of yourself.

They are pocket steps because, along with the blog, we’re giving you a few little printables that you can fill in with whatever resonates most with you and keep in your pocket to pull out whenever you need a reminder about how amazing you are or how far you’ve come.

Pocket Steps

• Recognition/Naming (Awareness): Identify the emotion/thought/behavior that is bringing forth discomfort. In order to begin communicating about something, we must have the language to talk about it.

• Intention: Remember your original desire to heal and your determination to go through this process, which means making conscious decisions in the face of hardships or hard emotions. Remind yourself that most struggles can be overcome, but they are not meant to be overcome alone; we must choose connection. Most unhelpful thoughts (that are driving us away from connection) can be reframed into something positive or, at the very least, neutral. More often than not, our ultimate intention is to connect or protect ourselves.

• Mantra: We cannot simply get rid of negative thoughts (especially after years of conditioning!) – we must replace them with positive ones. Remind yourself of any of these when you’re feeling shame, embarrassment, avoidance, or any other uncomfortable thought/emotion.

• Practical

• • I learned this (behavior/thinking pattern/emotional reaction) when I was ___ years old. I’m grown now and have the ability to change my own behavior/mind/pattern/etc.
  • One step back does not negate progress.
  • Emotions are here to tell me a message, but that message may not always be factual.

• Personal

• • I am loved. I am enough. I am allowed to struggle with new things.
  • I do not need to be perfect.
  • I can change myself at any time. I am not bound to or defined by my past.

• Add any others that you believe will help you onto the back of this page!

• Feel and Release: Feelings are meant to be felt and released. When feelings don’t get released, they bottle up inside and can cause a whole host of physical issues: tension, muscle knots, migraines, stomach aches, etc. Any of those sound familiar? 

When you’re in a safe space and you have the time, take a moment to fully feel all of those feelings you’ve been bottling up. Acknowledge them, individually name them. Where is the feeling in your body? What is the hardest part of it – a thought? A memory? Do you need someone else to help you regulate it?

• It’s important that you make yourself as comfortable as possible while feeling emotions. If your physical body is comfortable on the outside, it can make it easier to move through the process. Have a cozy blanket or pillow nearby. Grab your favorite tea or a cup of hot chocolate – things that will help you relax and that encourage peace. Look for things that you can do to help pamper your mind and body while you’re allowing the emotion to be released.

• Gratitude: Thank your mind and your body! Experiencing feelings means that our body is trying to read our environment and is making assumptions about the situation at hand, indicating to our mind that we may need to respond a certain way. Unfortunately, our assumptions about situations are based on our past experiences, which may not have inspired the most healthy or truthful lenses for life. This skewed lens often leads to us feeling emotions that aren’t rooted in immediate reality (many times they are the buried feelings that weren’t felt when the original interaction happened). All the same, the feeling’s intention is to help; that intention deserves recognition and gratitude. 

Try telling yourself something like “Thank you (emotion) for being here and communicating with me.” By doing this, you’re reminding yourself that those feelings aren’t something to avoid or be afraid of. They’re natural parts of us and, like everything else in this world, are just trying to communicate with us. 

Healing is a process. Remember who you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going. You will heal and we hope these pocket steps will help to remind you to be patient with yourself. Learning doesn’t happen overnight and growth doesn’t come without some growing pains. So allow yourself to stumble and then take out your pocket steps, take a deep breath, and keep going.

And if you need help along the way, please contact MY Self Wellness today to book a therapy session or call: 239.908.9958